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What is Your Child’s “Love Language”?

 

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What’s the status of your child’s emotional tank? Does your child show signs that he feels loved? Are you able to express to him effectively how much you love him?

Kids have different ways to communicate love and parents must discover what they are. Today, I share with you The 5 Love Languages of Children according to Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell.

As parents, we need to speak our child’s love language/s. By doing so, we are able to love him best. The earlier we start finding out how our child wants to feel loved, the more we are building a foundation to a better relationship with him. By doing so, our child becomes emotionally healthy and more responsive towards our guidance.

Dr. Chapman and Dr. Campbell explain that children need all the five love languages in order to keep their emotional tanks full. Parents should keep in mind to discover ways how to speak love in all the languages.

Your child’s love language can be:

Physical Touch.

Gestures such as touching, kissing, hugging and playful loving touches such as piggyback rides, wrestling on the floor and give-me-fives, matter most to children who respond to physical touch. For them, a touch means “I feel safe in my dad’s arms” or “I know my mom loves me”.

Words of Affirmation.

Whenever you say words that give praise, encouragement, endearment, guidance towards your child, you affirm him of your affection towards him. Words such as, “ I really appreciated how you showed kindness towards your classmate” or “I really liked the positive attitude you showed during the game”. When we become more specific in affirming them, the more we make them understand what our words really mean.

Quality Time.

Giving your child undivided and focused attention means a lot to him. It tells your child this message, “You are important to me. I like being together with you”.  Spending quality time means sharing your thoughts, and conversing with your child. Find ways to know your child even better.

Gifts.

Keep in mind that gifts should be given out of love. It should not because you simply want to reward your child for his good actions or to bribe him to do a certain thing. Your child sees your gift/s as an extension of your love. Do not overwhelm them with gifts and make it as substitutes to the other love languages. Be creative when it comes to giving gifts. Remember that not all gifts come from the store

Acts of Service.

These are the big things and the little things you can do to help your child. Some examples are making meals for them, helping them with their homework, and fixing their broken toys. When you serve your child, your goal is to do what’s best for him. By doing this, you model to them responsibility and sensitivity towards others. Never give too much service or give in to all requests. Always check to see if your acts of service will fill your child’s love tank.

What is your child's love language? Post your responses below.

Reference: Chapman, Gary., & Campbell, R. (2005). The Five Love Languages of Children. Chicago: Northfield Publishing

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